By Cozette Calderon
Having trouble with picking the perfect words to shape your essay or email? Wordiness is a plague that affects writers. We have so much to say, but we feel that our writing is suffering because of wordiness. Here are some words to keep in mind when editing to make your writing crisp.
Cut out
- Very/really
Very and really is a nondescript word. It often doesn’t add any power to writing, being a filler word instead of a strong adjective. By adding ‘very’ you’re adding an extra word that can easily be replaced with a synonym, which can add a stronger connotation.
Before: he was very angry.
Revised: he was enraged.
The example given changes angry to a stronger word that replaces the want for ‘very’. However, the word doesn’t have to change if you do this:
Before: he was very angry
Revised: he was angry. (This perhaps is less intense, but it’s still a viable option depending on what the writing demands).
Why does it matter if I include angry if the meaning doesn’t change? This is the most important lesson: our job as writers is to make our writing digestible and understandable. By adding more words, you’re forcing your reader to wade through more, which lowers their chances of understanding your purpose. Readers prefer to enjoy what they are reading, so writers must remember to entertain their readers. Eyes glaze over, so by not writing something that lasts for 5000 pages, you have a greater chance at holding your reader’s attention.
Synonyms for you to consider instead of including ‘very’ before an adjective:
Very angry: enraged, resentful, irate, aggrieved, upset.
Very sad: mournful, sorrowful, dejected, despair, depressed, despondent.
Very happy: joyful, gleeful, cheerful, delighted, favorable, untroubled, jovial, jolly
Very playful/funny: jocular, witty, comical, amusing, kid-like
Very lucky: felicitous, fortunate, blessed, favorable.
But remember, all you have to do is cut ‘very’ and your adjective has a better chance of success.
Cut out
- Adverbs
Adverbs are words that change verbs, adjectives, or even other adverbs. Changing doesn’t necessarily mean enhancement. Often, there is a synonym that cuts the need for adverbs.
Example of adverbs: he ran quickly, he cheered loudly, he walked briskly, he wrote well, he moved a little.
NOTE: Sometimes adverbs cannot be avoided. The example ‘He wrote well’ has no synonym available that cuts out ‘wrote’ and ‘well’. You can change ‘well’, but that may change the effect of the sentence. Other adverbs cannot be removed without leaving the sentence vague. An example of this is “Put the box there.” Technically, this is a circumstantial adverb because ‘there’ defines the place to put the box. However ‘put the box’ is grammatically incorrect because there is no subject involved in the action. So let’s fix that and see what changes.
“She put the box.”
Our immediate question? ‘Where did she put the box?’
Though the sentence is now grammatically correct because it has a subject and verb (the action of ‘put the box’), it’s unclear. In this case, an adverb is necessary to clarify the action.
Here are examples where adverbs are unnecessary.
Before: she ran quickly.
Revised: she sprinted.
Before: he cheered loudly.
Revised: he cheered. (Cheering naturally has a connotation of being loud, so you don’t have to add it. Other options will be given…)
Before: the group walked slowly.
Revised: the group ambled.
Cutting adverbs condenses your writing and makes it active. If you can’t find a synonym spontaneously, use a dictionary. Searching for words is crucial to improve one’s writing.
Synonyms for you to consider instead of including adverbs:
Walked or moved slowly: ambled, stroll, dawdled
Ran or moved quickly: sprinted, dashed, dart
Laughed loudly: cackled, chortled
Walked with confidence or proudly: strutted, gavot
Yelled loudly: yelled, holler, yelped, screamed, shout
Cut out
- “Not”
There are alternatives to saying ‘not’. For example, ‘unnecessary’ instead of ‘not necessary’. Here is a list of words that provide this option.
Not fortunate: unfortunate
Not happy: unhappy
Not please: unpleased
Not pleasant: unpleasant
Not comfortable: uncomfortable
Not acceptable: unacceptable
Not knowledgeable: knowledgeable
Not remorseful: unremorseful
Not capable: incapable
Not accessible: inaccessible
Not caring: uncaring
Not flexible: inflexible
Not decisive: indecisive
Not sympathetic: unsympathetic
Not dress: undressed
Cut out
- Due to
“Due to” is often used in emails and ‘scholarly’ essays, but it’s two unnecessary words. A good replacement is: because. ‘Because’ sets a direct and brief cause and effect relationship—which is what one is doing when one says “due to”. People often use “due to” to meet a word count or to try and sound intelligent. Rebuttal to the first reason: One should have something vital about a topic, otherwise there’s no reason to write about it, which means one does not need to add filler words. However, another prevalent argument is that one should say all they need to and ignore word limits. If your point is clear, concise, and orderly then how many words you used to achieve your purpose shouldn’t matter. Rebuttal to the second reason: adding words doesn’t enhance the intelligence shown in your writing. Being able to express one’s ideas clearly is truly scholarly. Another reason is “due to” isn’t necessary to be entertaining: think of the Wizard of Oz. “We’re off to see the wizard due to, due to, due to, due to the wonderful things he does.” No, it’s because of the “wonderful things he does.”
Look for
- Rambling and repetition of thoughts
Unless a thought is of the utmost importance or it’s one’s thesis repeating, one should avoid repeating the same thought written differently or with different syntax. Unless it’s a stylistic choice—like Tim O’Brien in The Things They Carried—repeating the same words or sentences with the exact same purpose and slightly different diction is a waste of yours and the reader’s time. Imagine a reader being told for the fifth time that cereal is a breakfast food. Say your idea, come back to it if necessary, and move on. It’s our duty as a writer to be clear, and if we achieve that, we shouldn’t have to hammer a point in multiple times.
When in doubt, remember that word count doesn’t mean anything if you have nothing to say. Words hold value. By overusing or cloudying their meaning we’re not only devaluing them but also destroying how humans communicate—cutting connections. This is why it’s important to always be clear and concise. We must value how we form our connections, which is mainly supported by language.
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