By Sevanah Sandoval
Jobs, internships, scholarships, schools– no matter what you’re applying for, you run the risk of being rejected. Oftentimes, facing rejection is a lot harder than anticipated. Being turned down for anything can be disappointing or cause people to question their own worth. Now that college application season is in full swing, it’s important to know how to cope with rejection.
Learning how to cope with rejection isn’t an acceptance that you will be rejected. Rather, it’s an acknowledgement that any sort of application will result in acceptance, rejection, or some kind of deferral. Being prepared for any of these outcomes will ensure you are able to maintain your wellness and push forward.
After sifting through various sources, I’ve compiled a list of the most commonly suggested tactics to coping with rejection. They are as follows, in no particular order.
Take Time to Process Your Feelings
By far the most common recommendation to handle rejection was to acknowledge how it made you feel and take time to process those emotions. While this sounds intuitive, people often have a tendency to suppress or ignore adverse feelings that can upset us. Though it may not be comfortable, it is important to allow yourself to feel the emotions the rejection caused you to put them in the past, rather than letting them cement to you through suppression. By processing your emotions, you can be honest with yourself about how you feel and start to effectively move on.
Have Self-Compassion
To safeguard your well-being when dealing with rejection, practice self-compassion. As individuals, it is much easier to be overly critical of yourself than you are of others. Self-compassion involves extending the grace you would give others to yourself. For example, if a close friend was facing a rejection, would you tell them that it makes sense and probably means they didn’t deserve what they were applying for anyway? Try to apply that logic to yourself. Giving in to the natural instinct to be overly self-critical is unhealthy because it can obscure the situation and skew our perception of ourselves. It is detrimental to self-worth and mental health. So, practicing self-compassion can help combat those effects.
Identify your Support System
Circling back to the idea of a friend facing a rejection, it can be very helpful to reach out to a support system. Whether they are trusted adults or friends, talking to others about how you feel can be a great way to get things off of your chest and identify if you are being too self-critical. Your support system isn’t inclined to be overly critical of you like you are. They can offer compassion, comfort, and encouragement to get you back on your feet and ready to take on more challenges.
Remind Yourself of your Successes
A great way to combat self-criticism is to remind yourself of times you have succeeded in the past. It is very easy to forget these times because the situations of failure that cause negative emotions can be more memorable. Take some time to appreciate all the things you have accomplished and remind yourself that you are capable of taking on challenges and succeeding, and that this rejection doesn’t define your ability or worth.
Prioritize your Physical and Mental Health
Taking care of your health when dealing with any strong, adverse feelings is vital. While some people may feel they don’t deserve extra care after failing, it is extremely important to take care of your physical and mental health after processing negative emotions. Be sure to get some physical activity in, whether it’s a full workout or a simple walk outside.
Look to Grow
Perhaps the most important thing to do when facing rejection is to take the time to understand why you were rejected and grow from it. Mistakes are beautiful things for pointing out where people need to grow, but they go to waste when those identifiers of where you are falling short are not acted on. Don’t let your rejection be for nothing; find the lesson in it, and better yourself with what you have learned.
As with most things, these tips sound easy enough but can be hard to put into practice. Recently, I’ve been rejected for a handful of scholarships. While handling this rejection is hard, I’ve been able to keep pushing forward with scholarship applications by realizing that no effort towards scholarships is wasted, even if I am rejected. In addition, it has helped me stop fearing rejection. After experiencing it more, I can understand that being rejected is not the end of the world or a poor reflection on my abilities. Though rejection can make people feel really down, rebounding is never impossible. Just remember that rejection is an inevitable part of life, and learning to overcome it will serve you well throughout all of your ventures.
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