By Comet Ziemer
Mr Hughes. Some see him as a very intelligent, funny, and kind teacher. He is a well loved member of the BHS staff team, and it’s hard to see anything really wrong with him.
That is, until you look under the mask of books and nerdy jokes and notice a dark and sinister soul lurking underneath. I have spent many months diving into the secrets that this man keeps hidden, and I fear I may be found out soon. So here I am, sending this article out into the world to put out one warning and one warning only…
DO NOT TRUST MR. HUGHES!
I know that this may seem like a huge revelation for some of you, and it may seem a little hard to believe. But I promise you that there is more to this man than meets the eye.
Let me start with my first major concern, the exploitation of his seniors. You would never guess this if you didn’t have him your senior year, but he has a whole system that he uses to trap his seniors before they graduate. I don’t know the exact process he goes through, as he changes it every year to cover his tracks, but somehow, he captures his seniors in a basement below the school. And what does he do with the seniors? He uses them to print the school paper. That’s right. It is our beloved journalism alumni who are the ones printing new issues of the school paper.
I found this out via a graduate student of Mr. Hughes who escaped the harsh conditions of his wrath. I interviewed Gwen Chambers and asked her what it was like when She was taken and how she managed to escape.
“So, for starters, this was insane. I remember it was directly after graduation, I had a great time, had a wonderful grad party the morning after graduation, and I think that night was when he struck. I fell asleep, and when I woke up I was back in his classroom, there were some other seniors in there with me, and he told us we’d be writing articles for the newspaper again, forever.” Gwen then explained how she and the other seniors that were trapped came together to devise a plan to distract Mr. Hughes. After paralyzing him with images of his greatest fear, they made a run for it and escaped safe and sound.
Gwen is currently attending college, free from the wrath Mr. Hughes put her through.
After finding this out, I have made it my mission to unveil this mystery right under Mr. Hughes’ nose. I have been secretly sabotaging his tea supply with Melatonin pills. He falls asleep during lunch, and I go through his computer and desk to try and find any more information.
But I know I cannot keep this up forever. I have a feeling that Mr. Hughes is onto me, and it is only a matter of time before he throws me into the basement with the other seniors. If you are reading this on the paper, then please realize that there are hundreds of seniors trapped under the iron fist of Mr. Hughes.
But there is hope. I have put together a foolproof plan to weaken Mr. Hughes so students can come together and free the people he has trapped. You see, Mr. Hughes hates how often he is compared to famous fictional character Harry Potter. So I have devised a plan that if people silently sing the Harry Potter theme song whenever they are around him, he will become so annoyed that he will take a day off of work. When he is gone, we can sneak into the school’s basement and free everyone.
I cannot do this mission without help. I hope that if you are reading this, it means you care for the journalism alumni. So join us for the downfall of Mr. Hughes. Together, we can save everyone.
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