By Ella Stone
Being young in environments filled with adults can often be difficult. Whether it is at work or at school, often you find yourself accepting disrespect. In such places, mental health stays an essential part of our well being, but it is often overlooked. By addressing your needs and wants respectfully, you can set boundaries and feel more valued.
It can be uncomfortable to tell people of higher authority what you need. You don’t want to be seen as difficult or whiny, but if you do so in a respectful manner you will be viewed as mature. Many times, students experience anxiety when it comes to their workload. Solutions like schools providing a counselor or therapist for students to talk to throughout the day has proven to be helpful.
If you feel like a teacher is going too fast when explaining things or is giving tons of work in a small amount of time, it is okay to mention it. Come up with a plan for you and your teacher to respect each other’s time. They can’t help you if they don’t know what is going on. If you have a conversation with your teachers and they don’t listen, it is okay to take some time to figure out your next plan. Acting out of anger or disappointment won’t get you anywhere. It takes respect to gain respect.
Working while in school can often feel like a huge responsibility. Whether you have to hit deadlines or personal things have come up that you can’t get off your mind, things can affect your ability to work. The stresses that come from work and life tend to combine and make things worse. Bosses don’t always know what’s going on and can be rude if they think you are slacking. It is okay to request a break and tell them what is going on. They are people, too. Clearly communicate what you need, and don’t leave much room for them to avoid your requests.
When approaching a teacher, coach, or boss, they may not respect your wishes. They may not be able to relate and therefore cannot understand how you feel. If this happens, try to remain calm and not become worked up. Explain how this makes you feel, and how you both deserve respect. Many times, they may not even realize they are being harmful. It is important to use “I” statements to share how you are feeling instead of accusatory language. Instead of saying, “You make me feel ignored when you don’t listen to me,” say, “I tend to feel ignored, and I’m hoping we can find a solution to that.” People tend to become defensive even when they are in the wrong and may say things that tend to be mean when they feel attacked.
If you are interrupted, it is okay to speak up for yourself. Just because you are younger, it doesn’t mean that you deserve any less. Saying things like, “I’d appreciate it if I could finish my point before we move on” is totally okay. If all of this doesn’t work, look for someone else to help. Bring someone who has witnessed these events that are bothering you, so you aren’t so alone. It is okay to ask for help. Keep a record of the times these things have occurred, so you are able to show that you are correct. Standing your ground is important. Don’t worry, things will improve.
Never forget that your mental health is the most important thing in these situations. In life, you fight for yourself and are your biggest cheerleader. Don’t keep yourself in places that take more from you than they give.
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