By Cozette Calderon
Commitment day has passed, transcripts have been submitted, and merch has been bought, but if you’re being honest you’re still thinking about getting off the waitlist at your dream college. There is this disappointment brewing, and everytime someone asks which school you committed to, you have to come up with a hundred justifications for why you belong at — University. It hurts, trust me, I know. So, how do we get over it?
In short, I don’t know if we ever get over it until we actually go to college. In my situation, the college I committed to started off as my dream college before I decided I would prefer to attend UC Berkeley. However, I got waitlisted. Since I was fortunate enough to be accepted into my original “dream” school, I still have some ways to cover my disappointment. Still, through that experience, I found a few reasons behind why some of us are disappointed, so let’s unpack each reason and find some solutions.
PRESTIGE- I’m not going to the number one school in the world or country. My school is well-known in the publishing world, so it does hold some prestige, but when I committed, I knew that no one would be jumping up and down thinking how smart I must be. That hurt because I put a lot of effort into getting accepted. Speaking of which, in one sentence I have found the issue and the solution. Stop caring about what others think. That kid going to UCLA may be super smart, but if your school is known for anthropology and that’s the field you want to go into it will probably benefit you to go there in the long run for your career. The kid going to UC Berkeley may be just as smart as you, but if you’re trying to go into Literature and Jamaica Kincaid is teaching at your school that may be a much more valuable connection than the professors at UC Berkeley. What’s my point? The college we’re attending may not be the number one college or even the best college in its field, but it has qualities that drew you to it and it probably has some qualities that will help you in the future. Value those qualities more than what other people get to value about their colleges.
LOCATION- So you’re stuck at home, in Merced (no offense), or somewhere else that did not fit on your college Pinterest board. Two trains of thought can be applied here. The first is for those people who like adventure. If you didn’t want to go there, you probably wouldn’t have visited in the future. That means now you can check off a place on your bucket list to travel to and view it as an adventure. For my other people who are at home or close to home, focus on the fact that your support system (old teachers, family, friends, etc.) are going to be able to help you more than the person going half way across the world or country. Also, home can always be a starting place before greater things. Do not view this as an end but a beginning. Lastly, you’re going to college for an education, not a view—suck up the disappointment of not being in the most beautiful location. With that being said, most towns have at least one thing that is beautiful (a restaurant, trails, the local library), so try and find your safe space.
SELF DOUBT- I didn’t see confetti when I opened one of my decision letters and now I think I will never be capable of ever being successful again because that one school in that one location with the one great professor didn’t want me.
Yes, that’s a real and valid fear that I’ve also felt. I can’t pretend like we can just wish self doubt away. Please don’t be angry because I’m about to state a platitude that I’m sure your mom, dad, and therapist have all said, but I think you need to not hear it but understand it: at least one college did want you. Even if it wasn’t what you think the perfect one for you is, you proved to everyone and yourself (most importantly) you can do hard things. It doesn’t matter how high or low the acceptance rate for your school is, the pressure and the fear is hard to handle, but you did it. That in itself is an accomplishment.
The thing about life is we often don’t know what truly is right for us, so instead of worrying about what is or isn’t perfect for us, the college admission process chooses for us. Be grateful for that. As hard as the decision to go to college is, by getting rejected to a few, you whittled down your options. I honestly believe the one that is meant for you is in the bunch. Perhaps it’s my optimism speaking, gross, I know, but life just works. I have seen it happen so many times it’s not even funny. When I need an extra day to study for a test, the teacher decides to move it. I can’t remember where I put my keys, but my dad saw them just a second ago. For one second, force yourself to be grateful, then you can be upset, sad, or however you feel again. Force that one second of gratitude because when you actually go to college I have a feeling you’ll feel it, and you’ll want to understand how it feels beforehand.
For all my fellow seniors out there, I am proud of you—no matter what your school colors are, what the motto is, what your major is, what mascot you have—no matter where you’re going. I’m proud. Thank you for giving me this opportunity to share this time with you, and I know the class of 2025 is heading off to do great things.
beniciapaw.com 