By Robin Bruno
The government loves to watch everything that you do, but it is hard to monitor all those people from every personal electronic device. But it also gets hard to keep track of all these devices.
They used to spend so much time trying to figure out a way to make spying easier. They would carry out experiments on different animals and even people, but nothing worked. Until they found the perfect specimen.
Birds are perfect, inconspicuous, and subtle. No one would ever figure it out because who in their right mind would suspect a bird to actually be a government spy?
Well the person to uncover it all would be Peter Mclndoe, in January 2017. He went to a women’s march in Nashville with a friend, he had a cardboard sign that said, “Birds aren’t real.”
Whenever someone asked him about his sign, he would improvise, and the conspiracy that is 100% true was born.
One thing he would say was that, “The US government killed all the birds between 1959 and 1971 and replaced them with surveillance drones.”
Ever since that day, people have been watching what they say when there are birds around. But many have started to question if there is a hierarchy in the avian kingdom.
What species of bird is the government’s favorite? Who holds the most power?
I can answer both questions with one word. Pigeons. Pigeons hold the most power of all birds, they are everywhere.
There are approximately 400 million pigeons that thrive in cities around the world. While pigeons have a reputation for being stupid, they are far from it.
The government programs many of their drones to be stupid so they do not cause people to become suspicious of them.
Which may not sound like a lot but that doesn’t matter, because they are in cahoots with two other avian species.
The “Domestic” Chicken is the most deadly of the 3 dominating birds, with over 33 billion of them globally, outnumbering humans four to one.
The reason I say the most deadly is because they have a nasty vendetta, with the majority of them being farmed for their meat, they have some plans for us.
The last bird that people need to watch out for has a population of roughly 370 to 380 million, the American Robin.
The American Robin is cunning and is found throughout the entire world, they even have seven subspecies. They are known for their amazing sight, so they can spot you from miles away.
With that being said, just remember that they are always watching and listening, so you better say nice things about them.
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