When You Just Aren’t a Sports Person

By: Leila Rocha

So I hear you can’t do sports. Well at least that’s what your PE class reports. But it’s OK, maybe it’s not for you; there’s more options out there! 

When you try to kick a soccer ball all you kick is air. You don’t know the rules so you don’t know what’s even fair! Your entire team gets frustrated but you don’t even care. You’re just not good at sports and you’re very well aware. 

It seems like everyone knows football. But you spend your time at the mall. You know if you even tried to play you would take a dangerous fall. If you were to rate your knowledge of this sport on a scale from one to ten, that number would be embarrassingly small. 

When you go on a jog with a group of friends, you’re always in the back. You would never even consider trying to join track. You even struggle to carry your own dang backpack! But it’s alright because you’re unathletic so I’ll cut you some slack!

In the event of capture the flag, you’ll hide behind a tree because you know that if you try to run, failure is a guarantee. When people say that sports are awesome, you’re way too quick to disagree. You’d rather stand by flowers and risk getting stung by a bee.

When everyone plays baseball, you can hardly swing the bat. You don’t even understand the concept behind that! You prefer to spend your time falling asleep on a useless yoga mat. Or maybe alone in your house feeding all your cats.

While on the beach watching everyone catch a wave, it’s a McDonalds happy meal that you really crave. But seriously you don’t understand all the rave around this sport! It’s just not your fave. 

Or having a pool party where everyone takes a swim, that’s even worse than hitting the gym! But the chances of that too are incredibly slim. 

You would rather just sit down. You don’t want to embarrass yourself in front of the whole town. Because you know that when you do sports you simply look like a clown!

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