Morbius Fever Sweeps the Nation

By Elliott Garske & Caleb Rippee

On April 1st, 2022, the cinematic world was forever changed by one film. One film that single handedly destroys any other film when compared. Gladiator? Pathetic. The Dark Knight? Laughable in comparison. The Godfather? Ha! Don’t waste my time. This film, if it be right to call it just a film, is none other than Morbius.

Marvel has been on a roll as of late, releasing some of the best movies and shows in the game, but none have been as successful as Morbius. The film has earned a historic audience score of 142% on Rotten Tomatoes as well as the equally monumental critic score of 203% on the tomatometer. These monolithic scores shattered the former record of 99% on the tomatometer held by Paddington 2. 

Morbius’ popularity cannot be described in a way that is comprehensible for the human mind. Just trying to wrap one’s head around any sort of explanation other than the fact that Morbius must simply be the single greatest film of all time results in a near-fatal heart attack approximately 5 and a half hours after the thought commences. Trust me, it’s happened at least 5 times while writing this, and after months of deliberation and consultation I have come to a new conclusion. Morbius can only truly be described as a force of nature, sweeping through like a fever amongst the people. A Morbius Fever.

Describing Morbius’ jump into pop culture infamy is one thing, but of course to truly get a scope as to how much of an icon he is you must ask those who worship him. So we asked a few so called “Morbheads” for their opinion of the film.

“Morbius is a masterful work of fiction, truly the upper echelon of modern filmmaking. As soon as I saw the film I was enlightened, as if touched by the godly figure of Morbius himself. Ever since then I have devoted my life to Morbius. I have bought t-shirts, magnets, and other memorabilia. I have written in my will that half my net worth goes to Jared Leto for bringing Morbius onto the silver screen in such an amazing performance. I am naming my daughter Morbius.” says one who goes by the name xX_M0RB_H34D4267_Xx on Reddit.

“Morbius is to cinema, as Stan Lee was to Marvel Comics. Utter completion and perfection only obtained through the masterfully creative mind of one individual. Jared Leto.” Says another going by FlashM0rb on Twitter.

“Morbius is a genuine stroke of genius. From amazing scenes like the one where he has a 20 minute dance scene to the Bee Gees Stayin’ Alive, to the iconic line “It’s Morbin time”. Morbius is the perfect film to take anyone to, especially dates. Hell, that’s how I met my girlfriend.” says one other, going by MultiMorb on Myspace of all things.

Morbius has become such a favorite character by fans that they even are calling for him to be included in future Marvel projects, similar to how the late Stan Lee was. Recent initiatives include a retroactive cameo in Spider-Man: No Way Home, and even a complete renaming of Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness to Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Morbius after rewrites of the script in order to make Morbius a main character.

So to conclude, Morbius is a catalyst within the movie industry. The single greatest film of all time. Martin Scorsese himself has gone on to say that Morbius has changed his mind on Marvel films, and has been begging for a chance to direct its sequel, Morbius 2: Morb City, which plans to release sometime in 2023. Morbius shows no signs of stopping his hostile takeover of the pop culture zeitgeist, and may we all pray that it never ends.

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