By Paige Duane
As the holidays approach, high school seniors everywhere brace themselves for small talk with relatives. With anxious anticipation, they await hard hitting questions such as “what are your plans for after high school?” or “do you know which college you’re going to attend?”. Without any acceptances or concrete answers, it can be difficult to come up with an adequate response. Luckily, there are numerous strategies you can employ to avoid letting your family know just how unsure you are of yourself and your future. Here’s a list of ways to strategically avoid disappointed relatives.
- Lie
A tried and true classic, lying is a simple method for impressing aunts and uncles. The trick is doing it convincingly. Remember that details are important. Make sure you have your story straight prior to attending the event. The more impressive the lie makes you sound, the better. Bonus points if you can get your siblings or parents to back you up!
- Lie about joining the military
The only thing better than lying about getting accepted into an ivy league? Lying about being an American hero.
*This does not apply if you are actually joining the military. In that event, see any of the other 4 listed strategies for guidance
- Ask them what they plan on doing after high school
Stun them by redirecting the question. They will be so confused by that vague and convoluted wording that they will forget that they asked you the question first.
- Take a vow of silence
During the holiday season, it’s important to be aware of issues taking place around the world. By taking a vow of silence in honor of an important cause (i.e. shelter dogs or global warming), you can appear charitable while simultaneously giving yourself an excuse not to socialize with family members. Talk about killing two birds with one stone!
- Pretend to have amnesia
The downside of this plan is that a visit to the doctor’s office may be in your near future. However, you get to avoid feeling like the family disappointment, so it is ultimately worth the disruption.
This holiday season, it’s important to prioritize maintaining your sanity above all else, even if it means ruining the spirit of the occasion by lying about joining the military or taking a vow of silence. Holiday dinners can be a minefield to navigate, but by implementing one of these methods, you can handle any condescending conversation your family throws your way.
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