The Onion Almost Wrote a Real Article on Accident

By Matias Brule

     The Onion is a notorious comedy newspaper. And for the first time in its 34 year long run time they wrote a real article. Completely on accident. In the current Trump administration many people have said that the president’s actions feel like an Onion article.

     But completely by accident the Onion wrote something that actually happened; it all connects back to the strike on Iran when president trump illegally declared war on a foreign country.

     Now the US has a long history with Iran but that’s not what I am talking about. I am talking about the Onions article “Trump Wins $60 On Kalshi betting he’ll bomb Iran”, this article jokingly talks about Trump starting the war so he could win on his Kalshi Bet.

     But seconds before the first strike on Iran happened in the middle of the night, someone named “Magamyman” placed a $100,000 dollar bet on it winning $553,000 thousand dollars; now betting isn’t illegal but the timing of the bet being seconds before Israel’s first strike in the middle of the night has raised questions there were over the legitimacy of these bets.

     As more information was released on the bets. The majority of the Crypto wallets used in the betting were made and funded less than 24 hours before making their bets. People then learned about a close friendship between Trump Jr and the Ceo of the company.

    When a congress member questioned Trump Jr on X the official white house totally denied all allegations, and a spokesman stated, “The only special interest guiding the Trump administration’s decision-making is the best interest of the American people.” 

     But if that’s true they would have not worked with known scammers in the past; when making Mellania coin there was insider trading involved in the Mellania coin crypto scam. And the government never refunded the people who were harmed by the scam. They also never responded to any media outlets that covered it too.

     The government doesn’t care about the public interest. They have a history of scamming their audience. They have a history of making illegal acts and laws for Trump’s profit. And they have a history of insider trading. There is little we can do to audit this. There is no definitive proof it was Trump Jr, but all the evidence we have points towards him.